Have Any Questions?
Why are you offering Coaching after 20 years as a Licensed Masters Social Worker?
How we work
Firstly, I want to clearly identify and state that the outside world is often incredibly harmful.
This has been true since the beginning of time.
It is my firm belief that the outside world alone does not dictate our Internal world. That is to say that many great thought leaders have pointed us in this direction already: Vicktor Frankl, Eleanor Roosevelt; Martin Luther King; Buddhists; Etc.
Our GREATEST POWER is knowing how to regulate our own systems, how to balance ourselves… because the world isn’t going to give that tool to ANY of us for free.
Power is not given by the oppressed.
So let’s stop setting ourselves up to fail.
The world doesn’t have to care about us anymore than it cares about its own survival.
We ARE the world.
What if we were in it but not of it?
Let’s learn our OWN mechanics and how to navigate life by them. Because, when we do that, we take control, gain agency and invite choice into our own lives in ways that no oppressor can touch.
THAT is an indisputable Power Source.
And when we tap into THAT, our Power flows out from us in new ways.
Our Power begins to shift and shape the world around us.
We become the change we wish to see in the world.
We become the influencer and not just the influenced.
We become our own Master in ways that benefit ourselves and others instead of feeling alone, shamed and fearful.
We shift the Power dynamic between us and them.
That is a form of defense and offense that I’m committed to helping you uncover.
By design, our courses are created to keep YOU in charge of your own learning, tools and growth. There is nothing within our courses that is required, necessary and/or obligatory. What we ask is that you participate at the level you are comfortable, in the way in which you are comfortable and at a pace you are comfortable. Because we know that change and insight are not linear, just as life’s clouds are always shifting. You are your OWN boss. Take what you like and leave the rest behind.
Many of us have experienced trauma. There is nothing in our offerings that we have intended to trigger you. Of course, we can’t possibly know what might trigger you as you are uniquely you! We ask that, should any of our content be upsetting, concerning and/or you feel that we are full of bullshit – please feel free to tell us!
Nothing in our offerings is obligatory. We offer insights based on decades of experience with trauma survivors and perpetrators. Professional and personal knowledge. We point to Universal Laws that are bigger than us both. We don’t have to agree. But I ask that we all respect each other.
We do this through the multiple lenses, most overtly, through bringing Self-Compassion back online, as a tool to be used in our fight to Evolve individually and collectively.
What this is Experiential learning:
I give lots of homework. None of it is required. However, there is value to this homework in that it is Experiential. Yes, we have journals, workbooks, words on paper, etc… but there is a deeper salience involved when someone experiences new thoughts, new feelings, new behaviors. It is only through ‘hands-on’ learning that we grasp the concepts and effects of such learning. It is through experimenting in non-threatening ways that we gain self-confidence in our newly uncovered skills. We offer experiential learning that is intended to bring new insights, new tools, new empowerment, new external feedback, safety and FUN.
What this is not: Book learning
While words on paper have helped me tremendously, there is a limit to their benefit. We use this tool, as well as your OWN hands-on learning of life thus far. We build on YOUR skills, YOUR knowledge, YOUR experience. And we may use multiple forms of evidence to Leverage YOUR expertise.
What this is not: Just another Shame Game
Shame and punitive methods are the LEAST effective tools for change. I know quite a few others…. they offer results. Let us show you.
What methods do you use for Change:
The laundry list of methods, theories and tools that have informed my practice are vast. However, the most relevant and useful tool of change is you, your history, your values, your beliefs, your dreams, your desires, etc.
So, while I may have the ‘book’ learning, it has been my professional experience that ALL of that pales in comparison to your own experience.
Speaking personally, book learning offered me safety. It alone did not keep me safe from harm. And reliance on singular methods alone is harmful because we are all beautifully unique humans.
As such, we need individualized methods and approaches to build our own self-efficacy – informed by us, FOR us. Please review my ‘bio’ page for methods I have utilized over time.
How will I know if it’s working:
I’d like to introduce the concept Yin/Yang. Growth is not a linear process (It’s messy. Like a women’s labor). Nor is it evidence of what is ‘not’ there already. Growth, in the sense that we use it in our offerings, is about going UNDER our knowledge, thoughts, feelings and behaviors. It’s about passive learning, compassionate consciousness, rational vs reactive brain, etc. Growth is about understanding the role that trauma has played in EACH of our lives… and how we want to use that knowledge to inform our future.
Our world nternal and external worlds are out of balance and it’s past time to re-invite a holistic experience into our lives. One not dictated by the trauma responses of hypervigilance, either/or, all/nothing, rigid thinking, people pleasing, etc.
It is time we consider that our worlds (internal and external) exist as BOTH/AND.
We are both wounded and fully whole.
Our behaviors are often ‘illogical’ and absolutely logical
Our feelings are often helpful guideposts AND harmful lurkers
Our thoughts are both helpful AND sometimes harmful
We are both our own worst enemy and we better start being our own best cheerleader.
The world is Tragic AND Miraculous.
All. At once.
There’s room for it all and there is room for ALL of us in our lives.
There is an Easier Softer Way to reach our goals. Let me point you there.
How do I know you are not just another Karen:
I ask that you review my history, the communities I’ve lived and worked in, the people I’ve worked with, their outcomes, my own experience as a survivor of moral injury, institutional betrayal, and multiple forms of Trauma I have survived; the multiple marginalized communities that I have existed in myself as queer, fat, feminist, female, lower class, privileged, 1st generation college student, etc and the simple fact that I survived a suicide attempt with a profound spiritual insight within that hospitalization.
Don’t come to me to believe ME (although I’ll gladly share my belief in you with you freely).
Come to me to USE me to learn about YOURSELF. YOUR own GPS. How to tap into YOUR skills, YOUR resilience, YOUR healing.
I am a partner.
I have vast knowledge, skills and experience.
So do you.
Let’s partner to raise the whole boat! Let’s keep yours afloat and mine afloat first so that we can be a lifeline to those who haven’t yet been shown and don’t believe their inherent worth.
There is an Easier Softer Way…
Come see for yourself….
Read more Life Coaching FAQs
Click the link below to read more FAQs about Life Coaching.