Make an Appointment: [email protected] | (734) 796-7500

  • banner image

    My Story

    I was in my 40’s as a Practicing Social Worker before I learned about Developmental Trauma and it’s impacts. I have an ACES score of 8/10. I have survived and overcome extensive and multiple forms of trauma, yet I never once considered myself victimized.

    Like many of my clients, I studiously internalized blame for things that had happened to me – as so many of us have been socially indoctrinated to do too.

    I have lived in fight, flight or freeze most of my life and, though meds were thrown at me left and right, I was never shown how to turn down the freaking volume on that shit! Nor did I realize that my mental health was actually a symptom of something greater.

    Of something 100% natural and human and….CHANGEABLE.

    I was so convinced my own problems weren’t valid, that I had ‘privileged’ myself out of owning any type of trauma as happening to me because, well, you know, I was the ‘professional’. YOU were allowed to be treated with dignity and respect, but I often excluded myself out those I advocated for.

    It’s a blind spot many providers have for good reason: YOU, the client, are why we do our jobs! And a life of service (whatever form that takes) often has costs and sacrifices that need to be made, right?

    I was innocently and unconsciously neglecting self instead of finding the common ground.

    I was harming myself trying to feel ‘normal’ when that should have never once been my goal (anyone here NOT living under that same illusion!).

    So, I took meds, I did meditation, I sought spirituality, I joined recovery communities, I hated certain recovery communities (and no professional I was working with dared to ask or wonder why), I became a social worker, I obtained numerous certificates, I sought training, experts and mentors. I’ve done it all.

    And there were no sustainable answers to be found for my internal distress, despite the myriad of methods I had become familiar with….

    What no one ever told me was that the answers for all of the noise in my head, the incessant chatter, the brutally abusive inner critic – the answer for all of these internal struggles was NOT, in fact, ‘just try harder’ as we have been told. In fact, it’s quite the opposite.

    What I have found most helpful in my own life transitions was learning HOW to move from Powerlessness to Empowerment (which is built on gaining knowledge, building skills and gaining confidence in your own ability). I have found this most effectively through a spiritual framework based in the Three Principles and Indigenous Beliefs (Nature is an incredible teacher) and learning about Harm Reduction, Complex Trauma (and it’s presentations), the critical role of the nervous system and, most importantly, what these tools pointed me towards…

    That I was never BROKEN! 

    That YOU were never BROKEN!

    That WE were never BROKEN!

    Say what!?

    Yep, I’ve lived my whole life thinking that I was ‘damaged goods’, not ‘good enough’, trying to ‘prove’ my worth, begging for affection in a world that couldn’t see me (and definitely does not see far too many of us). I’ve lived my whole life protecting myself so well from that fear that I ended up creating the very things that would bring those ‘realities’ to life.

    I pushed people away, I lived for ‘escape’, I isolated, I lived a protestant work ethic of pushing through no matter what… right until my last nervous breakdown/suicide attempt/hospitalization in 9/2019 as a result of harmful ‘help’ that was forcing me to violate my own internal, professional, ethical, cultural, and spiritual beliefs. I now understand why so many people die under such conditions. It was a desperation that I wish on no one – that FAR too many of us face. It was a feeling that I have in common with most of the clients I’ve ever had and, even worse, left me with a belief that the world was better off without me, that I was a burden and that everyone would be better off without me in their way.

    Until a very clear moment came in that Psych hospital in which I claim my own ‘lightening bolt’ spiritual experience.

    Since then, my entire practice has shifted HOW I work with clients.

    I care less about your diagnosis and more about its symptoms. I care less about what’s ‘wrong’ with you and more about what’s ‘right’. I care less about either/or thinking now and live firmly in the land of Both/And.

    Most importantly, I care about Sustainable Individual and Collective Solutions to our common pain points.

    So, I hold the world a little more loosely now. I’m not confined to an internal prison of shame. I can breathe the fresh air and know that there will always be a Blue Sky regardless.

    Want to know HOW to heal?

    To clear your cloud cover? Gain Clarity? Align your Inner world with what you’ve always known (or maybe were even afraid to dare to believe) was True?

    Let me show you HOW to uncover YOU. In all of the Light that you are.

    I promise you it isn’t by working Harder.

    It’s time to work Smarter…

    Because the World needs YOU. ALL of you.


    It’s all there ever is anyway…

    Common feelings that I have noticed routinely in trauma survivors:

    • I’m broken

    • I’m not enough

    • I’m not good enough

    • Getting my needs met is not possible

    • The world is terrifying

    • The World abrasive

    • I have no buffer or insulation for this fight for survival

    • What I’m doing is wrong

    • What I’m doing is pathological

    • I don’t ‘deserve’ happiness

    • There is no room in this world for me to exist

    • I need to blend in with the woodwork to survive

    • I need to hide some part of me

    • Shame and guilt are outcomes of ‘my’ behavior

    • It is ‘my’ fault

    • I’m not allowed to say no

    • I’m not allowed to build boundaries

    • I don’t have the right to ask for my needs to be met

    • ‘I could never’,

    • Etc and so on….

    That’s utter bullshit because I’m a ray of fucking sunshine for one - at least on the outside!

    Aren’t you?

    Ask anyone I’ve ever worked with: I’ve been told I’ve always had a smile on my face since it became an autopilot response in my youth. 

    You too?

    • Do you present to the world what you think they want to/need to see? I used to feel like a chameleon and believe me, I can ‘read a room’ like nobody’s business!

    • Do you exchange your worth in order to get your needs met? I routinely compromised mine in exchange for needs that, for many reasons, weren’t met developmentally and then was blamed for not knowing better strategies.

    • Are you constantly bleeding your energy, power and effort out to a world that doesn’t give you the best return on your investment? For most of my life I misunderstood that I needed to give you everything so that I could still get something, anything, from you. More devastatingly, I would place YOUR opinions about what I ‘should do’ over my own… and guess what, those opinions were often VERY wrong for ME!

    • Do you compromise your own emotional safety because it’s just ‘better for everyone’ if you just play along, don’t rock the boat, don’t dare to take up space and exist? I’m well versed in hiding in the woodwork, you?

    Common Beliefs and Values I've heard....

    Suit up, show up, keep your mouth shut and your head down and no one will get hurt… Right? 

    Quit your bellyaching, act like a man, you better be sorry and you are to be seen and not heard… Right? 

    If you would only… You ‘should’… Why don’t you just…

    I’m too x..

    I’m not enough y…

    Succeed, but not too much

    Play small, so we can feel safe

    Live your dreams, but not if they are larger than mine


    My friends… I was imprisoned and the cell just kept getting smaller.

    I had created a life in which I could not dare to move, breathe or make a sound, lest terror happen at every turn.  

    Life felt like an assault



    And I found ways to cope with that pain that worked – behaviors that would provide quick and immediate relief.

    We all do this.

    Because living life on ‘high alert’, walking on eggshells, afraid to make a move isn’t a sustainable way to survive


    I’ve finally found a buffer…

    I’ve found insulation…

    I’ve found reprieve…

    I learned HOW…

    I gained Empowerment…

    I made room in my life for ME…

    And my Compass is no longer Clouded…

    With a LOT less meds and more self-compassion.

    Since I started utilizing what has evolved into the Clouded Compass framework with my clients, the results have been amazing.  I have journeyed with my clients and on my own as we:

    • Create Boundaries
    • Learn to say no to life’s checklists and yes to ourselves
    • Start shedding, stop shoulding
    • Set intentions not rigid expectations
    • Utilize the Universe without giving it our specific and limited menu of options
    • Find joy in unexpected places
    • Build purposeful Presence in our lives
    • Enact daily grounding opportunities to improve our quality of life
    • Love our life so much we no longer want to escape it
    • Build muscles/buffer/insulation against life’s constant assaults
    • Learn how to not take things personal (because nothing in this world is actually)
    • Finding growth and happiness after divorce and/or any other life-altering event
    • Dare to honor ourselves in a world that tells us not to
    • Bet on ourselves and go after our dreams (like starting a business, quitting a horrible job, leaving a marriage, etc)
    • Be our own best Cheerleader in a world that simply can’t, by design, offer that to us
    • Stop innocently setting ourselves up to fail
    • Heal shame, guilt and realign with our purpose
    • Find new connection and meaning with our lives
    • Heal relationship to self, others and our world
    • Move from Surviving to Thriving
    This IS the source of your Power.

    And no one will tell you that because, well, the system works better when everyone stays in survival mode, controlled through fear and told that the answers are outside of them.

    Friends – the systems are rigged against us in most cases.

    It is now time to Reclaim RebellionLearn your Innate and Endless Power Source and Claim your Space in this World!

    You belong. You MATTER!

    Because none of us were brought here at this time, in this environment, with these conditions, by accident.

    In fact, what I will show you is exactly how to harness what has happened to you (the good, the bad and the ugly) and ride that shit into your own sunset.  Because we are here to do nothing else on this earth but this.

    We are being called to Evolve.  And evolve we shall.  From the inside out.

    It’s not rocket science.  It’s not unobtainable.  It is simply a matter of clearing the cloudiness that has filmed over our innate compass. We all have our own unique internal GPS and it’s time to start learning how to use it to keep ourselves pointed towards our own North.

    Are you with me?  Click here for access to my book Book:  LifeHacks: Tips and Tricks for Accessing Your InnerResilience

    Which offers a deeper dive into the how and why I started practicing my personal and professional life differently and the benefits of doing so.

    Now let’s begin…

    It’s time to start investing in and betting on YOU for once.

    I’ll see you over the Rainbow…

    And we’ve done all this regardless of what the world was doing.

    Previous results have included: Ending bad marriages, rekindling marriages, improved parenting, leaving toxic jobs/relationships, etc, improved quality of life, feeling fulfilled, building self-compassion, finally establishing a firm internal foundation instead of being at the whim of the world’s wind, increased confidence, increased self-trust, less apologies, stronger boundaries, less guilt, less shame, less bending ourselves until we break. Less people pleasing and more quality intention.

    Possible Outcomes:

    • Understanding my 4 Point Path to Possibility that I have personally used to heal untended wounds
    • Clarity and Focus
    • Poking holes in our solid Truths
    • Freedom From Cloud Cover
    • Identifying our Individual Clouds and not be scared of them
    • Deflating the Power of our Clouds in Practical Ways
    • Enhanced and deeper toolset to insulate us from internal and external stressors
    • Bringing back the Power of Choice in addressing the World’s Chaos
    • Presence and Grounding
    • Self-Compassion
    • Setting Intentions without Expectations
    • Obtain Support and Community
    • Internal vs External Locus of Control
    • Transforming the Power Dynamic between Us and the Outside World
    • Self-Advocacy and Self-Trust
    • Healing Unwanted Behaviors, Thoughts and Feelings
    • How to adjust our GPS accordingly, intentionally, strategically and effectively
    • Obtaining Sustainable Solutions to Life’s Chaos
    • A new sense of Adventure, Experimentation, Curiosity and Rebellion
    • Measured Results – for you, defined by you, measured by you
    • Saying Goodbye to feeling held hostage and imprisoned by our thoughts, feelings, behaviors, circumstances, history, shame, etc.
    • Harnessing the Power of Choice and Leveraging it to Catapult our Quality of Life
    • A Roadmap for YOUR Life’s Journey
    • Move from Surviving to Thriving in our Lives, on our terms and in a way that works for us
    • Reduced symptomatology and increased compassionate consciousness
    • Peace, Clarity, Freedom and the elusive ‘Happiness’
    • Tossing the Hamster Wheel of Working Harder for the Mindfulness of Working Smarter
    • Evaporating Overwhelm. Overstimulated and Overcommitted.

    How did we do these?  We did it Together.  Establishing a baseline of Emotional Safety.  Utilizing practical, innate and DOABLE strategies to rewire the mind, the body and ‘stuck’ belief patterns.  Tapping into what we already have available to us.

    Hardest thing to overcome

    how to stop betraying myself, neglecting myself and devaluing myself